Celebrities invade the House of Beetnik

We suck.
The TV is back on.
And, I'm blaming Betty White.

Turns out, it wasn't the lure of trashy reality shows that did me in, it was the lack of information. I missed current events. I missed the news. (Mom, if you're reading this, I know I could get a newspaper delivered, but I barely have time to read the headlines on Yahoo's home page, let alone leaf through a messy heap of inky paper. They are messy! Sorry. I know how you love your daily.)

So, yeah, I heard awhile back that Betty White was going to be hosting Saturday Night Live (Hey, I even love the Weekend Update!) in May, and that's happening this weekend. How could I not be tuned in for that? It just wouldn't be right. I love me some Betty. Reinstituting satellite service was a quick, and painless, decision.

Now, don't go thinking we're doomed to return to our sofa hugging ways. We did learn a thing or two over the short week we managed to live without access to America's favorite pastime. Primarily, we learned that we have plenty of other ways to fill our days. Between Paul's long hours, my slow ascent on the cooking learning curve, and two very young daughters, we can't afford to spend all of our free time in front of the TV. Honestly, there were moments when watching TV almost felt like yet another commitment that I was bound to fulfill. I felt pressure to watch the shows we usually watched! (From who? The Nielsens? Weird. I know.)

So the plan (for now, obviously things can change quickly around here) is to be more mindful of our time in general and certainly to limit how much TV we watch. Like last night, for example, did I watch Dancing With the Stars? No, I did not. And I may not watch The Biggest Loser tonight. Trust me, I've had more than my fill of Jillian lately.

Meanwhile, in preparation for Weigh-In Wednesday, I believe I've found the perfect scale.

Can you see? Instead of numbers, it gives you a reading of which celebrity you weigh. Oh, my.

Will this be good or bad for the psyche? I mean, what if I stepped on and it spun all the way to Las Vegas Elvis? Now there's a mental image of myself I was hoping to avoid. Forever.

Nonetheless, why get wrapped up in numbers when you can visualize instead? Okay, "Michael Moore" may not be what you were hoping for, but then you just buckle down and start working toward "James Gandolfini." Before you know it, "Jack Black" will be on the horizon. Now, isn't that more motivational than a bunch of silly numbers?

In case you're interested, you can select your very own celebrity scale here.

I wonder how much Betty White weighs?