Have a nice weekend?
If you said, "Yes," then I'm guessing you, unlike me, weren't in the depths of circuit hell.
Maybe because Saturday was the 1st of May, and summer is breathing down our necks . . . I don't know . . . but, somehow, the zany idea to start on a month-long regime of torture, widely known as Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred, popped into my head. And because I hate to suffer alone, I somehow convinced Paul to join me for it. (Hey, he put me on the Pull the TV's Plug program, so I think we're even, mmmmkay?)
Here are just a few examples of things you might have heard if you were a fly on the wall at the Beetnik's over the past 48 hours.
"I just showered, but only from the chest down."
Jillian Michaels: Come on! I have 400-pound people who can do jumping jacks!
Beetnik Mama (between gasps for breath): Those must be 400-pound people who never had a baby. I may have just peed myself.
Paul: Don't blog that.
"Now I understand why people on The Biggest Loser vomit."
Beetnik Mama: The only thing I still wanted to accomplish today was to scrub the tub.
Paul: You mean, scrub . . . using your arms?
"Jillian Michaels makes the baby Jesus cry."
Paul: I just can't believe the stiffness.
Beetnik Mama: That's what she said.
"Whose turn is it to carry Posey upstairs?"
"I can't do it. I'm crawling up them."
"I don't think I'll be able to manage sex again until we're up to Level 2."
Oddly enough, I came away from the weekend feeling hopeful. Although the next sexless, pain-filled, half-showered 28 days loom before us more dauntingly than a house where a toddler resides with no access to Dora the Explorer, I'm determined to see this through until it gets easier. I used to be able to do this.
I find Jillian to be pretty inspiring. At one point she says, "I know you want to turn off this DVD [ya' think?!?], but push through it. You don't get change for free." That hit home with me. I know she's right. I've never looked the way I wanted to look or felt the way I wanted to feel without working for it.
We only tackled Level 1, and I'm pretty sure that, at one point in my life, I was fit enough to jump into Level 2 or 3 with no problem. And I want that back.
I'm actually looking forward to seeing how I can progress.
As soon as I stock up on Depends.